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  Dax reaches for Carson without waiting for Beth’s answer. “Here, little guy, come to Uncle Dax.” He glances toward the other men. “Say hi, guys. This rascal will be part of the family over the next few weeks.”

  The men step forward, say hello to Beth, and take turns admiring the baby. Beth gives me a what the fuck look and all I can do is shrug. There was absolutely no way to explain this to her. I’ve been to the clubhouse and seen half a dozen deadly, grown-ass men on the floor setting up a massive train set for the twins. Sofia slapped one of them upside the head for using bad language while the twins took turns sitting on laps, knocking over plastic buildings, and basically causing havoc. Those not involved laughed and called out directions. It was a madhouse.

  They still have a few loose cannons among the members but I would easily trust these guys with my life. Hell, I’m trusting them with Beth’s and Carson’s lives.

  “He’s been changed but needs to burp. I’ll be back in a moment and thank you.” She walks into the women’s bathroom. Dax puts Carson up to his shoulder and begins patting his back like a pro.

  I check out the landscape for something to do. We’ve crossed into Arizona on I-40, but it’s not much different than the New Mexico side of the desert. High desert, though still hella hot.

  “Look at those eyes. Kid’ll be a looker when he’s older. Drive the ladies wild,” Curly says. Carson has his eyes open and is staring around at the men huddled around him.

  Beth comes out, stretches, and yawns when she’s a few feet away. “How much farther?”

  She looks tired even after sleeping in the car. Her face is flushed too. “Three hours give or take. You feeling okay?”

  She glances at the baby, who seems content in Dax’s arms. “I’m good. I don’t know if Carson will sleep, though.”

  “There’s no rush now that we’re away from my brother’s house. We can take it as slow as you need. How are you feeling?”

  For some unknown reason, she blushes. “I’m fine,” she says quickly. “I’ve been sleeping entirely too much. It actually feels good to be outside even if it’s hot.”

  “It will be hotter the closer we get to the clubhouse. At least the nights will be decent, unlike Phoenix.”

  She lowers her voice. “I don’t know what to make of Dax and his gang.”

  I try not to laugh but a chuckle breaks through. I can’t imagine what most people make of the Desert Crows. Their outlaw image hasn’t really changed. They might run a legitimate business now but they’re still a rough group who will do whatever it takes to protect the club. “Give Dax a chance and make up your mind once you know him better.”

  “Do you think we’ll be there long?”

  “It could take a few weeks to get everything in place. How long we stay will also depend on Angelo and his father. If they get close, we split. I’ll arrange a few safety nets so we have somewhere to fall back on if the shit hits the fan.”

  Beth walks over and takes Carson from Dax. We hit the road and head for Desert Crows territory.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Beth

  I SOMEHOW GET LUCKY and Carson sleeps the rest of the way. I’m able to doze for about an hour. Rack pulls into a fast food drive-thru the first time I complain I’m hungry. Having him take care of me has become a habit I need to break. He is a habit I need to break.

  I eat the fries and burger but go light on the soda because I’m hoping not to stop for another bathroom break. Living this past week without pregnancy bladder has been great and the soreness from giving birth is gone too. Shelby purchased me some jeans a size larger than I wore before becoming pregnant and I managed to slip them on before leaving today. Unfortunately, they’re still tight and it’s made for an uncomfortable drive.

  The scenery changes when we head through the mountains. This isn’t what I expected in Arizona. The tall pine trees and milder weather are welcome. It’s not green in the way Montana is but the beauty is undeniable. Another hour goes by and we descend from the higher elevation. Rack cranks up the car’s air conditioner and the pine trees disappear. I’m enthralled when I see my first saguaro cactus. It’s the state tree if I remember correctly. Tall and majestic, they stand out on the hills for as far as the eye can see. They also make me miss my home—the small apartment Nick and I shared before he left for Afghanistan. I’ll never return to Montana and chances are good that when I leave Arizona, I’ll never return here either. I look at Carson, so sweet and innocent in his car seat. Will this be our life? Always running? I need to stop thinking about it and focus on the positive. The baby and I are safe for now. A motorcycle gang is on our side. And, Rack is still in the picture. God has my life changed.

  Twenty minutes later, we pull off the main highway and hit a dirt road. After a mile and a few turns we pass beneath a large iron sign designating that we’ve entered Desert Crows territory.

  This must be the clubhouse. The building looks new. It has two stories with lots of upper windows and even a balcony. Not the biker gang clubhouse I thought I was heading to.

  “These are our new digs,” Curly says with pride. “Quite the upgrade from the old shack that almost fell down on our heads.”

  “The improvement’s remarkable. I haven’t been here since the remodel started,” Rack says.

  “You’re being a sarcastic ass,” Curly says as he laughs. “We tore that old piece of shit down and started over. It’s even got a gym. We live the life of luxury now. Dax and his family live upstairs. The main clubhouse is still on the ground floor. Sofia designed the clubhouse kitchen to make cooking for all of us easier. That room alone makes it worth the price. The woman needs to write a cookbook when she’s finished popping out kids.”

  About eight men and women come outside to greet us. Rack brings the car to a stop and the men line their motorcycles up in a perfect row. This is a different world. Several women lock lips with some of the bikers as a welcome home.

  A high-pitched squeal from the front door draws my attention. Two naked toddlers run outside followed by a young woman. She’s smiling even when she gives a stern command to the toddlers. “Get back here you little heathens,” the woman yells. They beeline for Dax and he swoops down and picks them both up. The woman shakes her head. She may be a little older than me but not by much. She’s wearing a colorful blue and pink top, a green bandana wrapped around her head, and short shorts. Black, clunky, ankle boots complete her outfit.

  What surprises me most is her Mexican heritage. With a naked child under each arm, Dax walks over and plants a huge kiss on her lips. There goes my image of what a skinhead motorcycle gang consists of.

  Curly steps out of the car and grabs the little girl from Dax. He leaves his door open and I can hear her squeal when he tosses her into the air. “You little hellion, where are your clothes?” he asks the little girl, who is now yelling, “Do gagain, do gagain, Curry.” It’s the cutest things I’ve ever seen and heard. I have no doubt the child is a handful but gosh she’s precious.

  “You ready to enter the madhouse?” Rack asks from the front seat.

  “I take it they’re not the big bad skinheads I thought they were?”

  He smiles. “Don’t let the prison tats fool you. The club has mellowed under Dax’s leadership. Sofia also rules with an iron pan if Dax doesn’t control the men properly.” He nods at the baby. “Let’s get the introductions over. I promise you’ll be comfortable here. And safe.”

  Sofia releases Dax and comes around the car before I’m out. She takes my arm and helps me stand. Once I’m upright, she immediately pulls me in for a large hug. “I’m Sofia, the wife of that good-looking man who escorted you here. The naked imps are our twins, Masey and Jonathan,” she says after releasing me. “I hear you have a baby.” She peers into the car and then runs around the other side and throws open the door. She has Carson in her arms within a few seconds and Spanish bursts from her lips as she hugs him close. It reminds me that she’s having another baby.

  I’ve been so w
orried. Even though I trust Rack, I didn’t expect this. Rack walks over and places his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get out of the heat and get you comfortable.”

  Carson starts fussing and Sofia walks over. “I have a room upstairs for you.”

  “Thank you.” I take the baby from her arms. Rack’s arm slips from around me and I follow Sofia inside.

  “I’ll grab your bags from the car,” Rack says behind us.

  The front room is huge. It has a giant flat-screen TV, two pool tables, comfortable-looking couches and chairs, and a mirrored bar against one entire wall. There are four ceiling fans circulating cool air. A hallway is on the left side of the room, there’s a door opening off the bar, and a stairway on the right. Sofia leads me to the stairs.

  She points to the other door by the stairs. “That’s the main kitchen and there’s a smaller one upstairs. Make yourself at home while you’re here. We have a separate outside entrance to the second floor too. I usually use these stairs because it’s always good to know what’s going on in the clubhouse. These guys need their heads knocked together every day or two,” she says and then laughs.

  We enter a foyer with three doors. Sofia leads me through one that opens to a living room and then down a hallway to a spacious guestroom. It has a bassinet in one corner and rocking chair in another. They’re similar to the ones we left behind. I walk to the rocker and sit down so I can feed Carson. He’s gone from fussing to all out screaming by the time I get us situated.

  “Dax said you need pretty much everything,” Sofia says as soon as Carson quiets.

  “I do, I’m so sorry.”

  “No worries. Anything you need just let us know.” She touches her stomach. “We kept the twins’ things in hopes of another child. We worked really hard on this little guy,” she says as she winks. Her hand rests on a completely flat belly, but I remember those early days.

  I smile back. The relief I feel is overwhelming. For the first time since discovering I was pregnant, my tears don’t overflow. I hope I’m finally beating the hormones. I peer down and Carson is staring at me. I smile at him and touch his soft little nose. I’m exhausted, but I know he won’t be sleeping for a few hours.

  “Can I get you anything right now? Water, soda, tea?” Sofia asks.

  My mouth is dry from lack of fluids and I know it’s not good when nursing. “Could I have water, please?”

  “Coming up.” She leaves and I look around with interest. Latin culture fills the room. The bedspread has small squares of bright turquoise, orange, and yellow. The walls have beautiful artwork with striking colors. There’s an old washbowl on the dresser and a soft brown area rug on the wooden floor.

  Sofia walks back in with bottled water. She opens the cap and hands it to me. I down half before smiling gratefully. “Thank you.”

  She sits on the end of the bed. “I hope you don’t mind but Dr. Santos is on his way to examine you and the baby. Dax said you had a home delivery and haven’t been checked by a physician.”

  More relief floods through me and a huge weight lifts from my shoulders. “Thank you. I haven’t said anything to Rack. Carson’s doing great but I’ve still been worried. He’s my first child and I would feel so much better if a doctor checks on him.”

  Sofia smiles in understanding. “You’ll love Dr. Santos. He’s a pediatrician but he’ll take care of you too and make sure you’re okay.”

  “Thank you.” What more can I say? This is not turning out like I thought it would. Sofia has made me feel comfortable and safe and that makes me think of Shelby. I can’t become attached to Sofia. The pain of leaving friends is too hard. Somehow I need to guard my heart and think about the future. I must keep Carson safe and remove him from the dangerous world Rack is involved in. All these thoughts are more than I can handle right now. I need a day to adjust to our new surroundings.

  Sofia gives my arm a squeeze. “You’re safe here. The clubhouse can withstand an army invasion and the men will never allow danger to enter these walls. This Gimonde guy and his men will never get to you here.”

  Her words assure two things: Everyone here knows who they’re up against and I’m as safe as I can be for now.

  Another weight slides off my chest.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Rack

  “SHE’S IN GOOD CONDITION and so is the baby considering neither has been examined since the child’s birth,” Carlo, also known as Dr. Santos, says scathingly. Santos is Moon’s friend. “Beth needs more fluids, which I spoke to her about. If you are still here in two weeks, I’ll get a new weight to make sure the baby is progressing normally. Beth told me your brother and his girlfriend helped deliver the baby via Google. I’m not usually one for practicing medicine found on the Internet but even I’ll admit they did a good job.” His stern voice lowers and his expression intensifies if that’s even possible. “I also told Beth no vaginal sex for four to six weeks after childbirth. I want to be sure you understand the consequences of possible infection if she isn’t healed properly.”

  We’re in the room Dax set up for me. It’s downstairs and little more than a closet. He talks straight and I’ve always respected him. How do I explain that Beth and I don’t have that type of relationship? I can’t. “I hear you, Doc,” is all I say.

  “Now you. Get the shirt off and let me examine your last catastrophe,” Carlo grumbles.

  I shrug out of my shirt. “Satisfied?” I growl when he runs a finger over the long nearly, healed wound.

  “If your ass had stayed in bed like I said, you wouldn’t have the nasty scar this is going to leave. The damn wound has opened numerous times and the skin is growing over the stitches. I may need to cut a few from beneath the skin.”

  Ten minutes later he slaps some butterfly bandages over a few bleeding areas and mutters in Spanish. He leaves and I head to the bar, grab a beer, and sit back on a high barstool. Maybe the buzz will make the doctor’s orders about Beth easier to bear. If I knew I would be touching her in three to five weeks, the empty hole in my chest wouldn’t be as prevalent. I won’t, though. Beth and Carson need to be safe and the life I lead won’t do that. One beer, keep a clear head, and don’t think about Beth and sex.

  Right.

  I look around at the rough, bearded, tatted out members of Dax’s club. Taking notice of their shaggy appearance easily takes my mind off sex, and a rumble of laughter escapes me. A heavy hand on my shoulder makes me smile full out.

  “Want to share the joke, my friend?” Dax asks.

  I tip the beer to my lips and shake my head. “No, I’ll keep this one to myself. Tell me how life is working for you.” I’ve spent a lot of time with Dax discussing business. He has a good head on his shoulders.

  He takes the stool beside me with his own beer in hand. “Business is growing.” He smiles at his pun. “We picked up a new strain of sativa from a clinic in Colorado. It’s good stuff and we’re having success with cloning. On the family front, the kids keep me on my toes, and the wife keeps me in line and my dick active.” He takes a drink. “You?”

  Like I want to talk about active dicks. Dax hasn’t got a clue. “I don’t like Moon sticking his nose in this business with Gimonde or that he asked for your help.” Yeah, Dax doesn’t care for this sentiment. Too damn bad. I keep talking and disregard his clenched jaw. “Doesn’t mean I’m not grateful. Gimonde has a long reach and unlimited resources. I don’t want my shit putting your family in danger.”

  Dax waves his beer around the room. “Take a good long look at where you and your woman are. My men are not afraid. This is our territory. Moon feels the same. If this Gimonde dude wants to bring a war here to the desert, he’s welcome to. I doubt him and his pansy-ass men can take the heat.”

  Dax could be right in more ways than one. It’s damn hot here and the desert adds another layer of badass to its inhabitants. I saw it in Afghanistan. Acclimating to the weather wasn’t an overnight experience. It hardened you, though. The heat either ate you alive or you
conquered hell and flipped it the finger. This doesn’t mean Gimonde won’t hit in the winter. I keep this to myself. “Thank you for coming for us. I should set the record straight, though. Beth isn’t my woman. She’ll be safely away from Arizona in the next week or so and I’ll be taking a long road trip into Mexico.”

  Dax takes a healthy swallow from his beer before responding. “You keep telling yourself that. I’m not blind. Those sad puppy dog eyes followed her when she went into house with Sofia. Then you kept looking at the door and had to fight not to run inside and check on her.” Dax puts his beer on the bar and places his hand back on my shoulder. “Claiming a woman and then resisting the claim is an impossible combination.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I say before downing the remainder of my beer too.

  Dax laughs long and loud. “Yep. You’re putting yourself into the perpetually hard dick club, my friend. At least I get relief on a regular basis. You know you can go knock on the door at the back trailer and one of the ladies will give you a ride if those blue balls get too bad.”

  “I need another beer,” I say and ignore his offer. The last thing I want is some nameless woman riding my cock.

  “Sofia’s cooking, so I’m heading upstairs for daddy duty. You wanna go up with me?”

  The Dax I knew two years ago and this fatherly Dax are two entirely different people. I think about heading upstairs with him but decide against it. The last thing I want is a reminder of what I’ll never have. “No, I’ll let you have some private daddy time. I’ll talk one of your guys into a game of pool. I’m still trying to win a bike off one of these suckers.” I knew a few of Dax’s men were listening to our conversation and I’m unsurprised when the smack talk begins.

  “You wish, Rack-Man,” shouts Vampire, Dax’s sergeant at arms. “Last time we played, you paid for my new saddle bags. The prospects give me more game than you do.”

  Dax walks away laughing and heads upstairs. Vampire sets up the pool table and I head over to get my ass kicked because I never lay all my cards on the table until I need to. This will keep my mind off Beth and Carson. First thing tomorrow I’m contacting Gomez to find out where the new identification cards are.