Inferno (A Hotter Than Hell Novel Book 7) Page 6

  I walk into our room and head directly to our bed. Before lying her down, she whispers, “Shower,” and I change directions. When I try to stand her up, she tightens her hold on me. Without removing my clothes or the shirt half covering her, I enter the walk-in shower. With a quick adjustment of her weight, I’m able to deposit my cell phone on the counter and turn on the cold water.

  Madison begins shaking a minute later, so I turn on the warmer water and hold her against me. Her entire body is shaking now and I realize she’s crying. “Shhh, baby, I’ve got you,” I say as I nuzzle my face into her hair.

  “Don’t let go,” she whispers.

  “Never.”

  Madison has been through shit before, but I’ve never seen her like this. I stand in the spray of the shower for at least thirty minutes while she cries. I don’t stop her tears no matter how hard they hurt me. She needs to cry this out. My muscles are burning when she finally asks me to put her down. The shirt slides from her body and lands on the tiles when her feet touch. She grabs the soap and begins scrubbing herself while I peel off my wet clothes. Her eyes are closed as she lathers the soap across her skin.

  “Here let me do that,” I offer after tossing my clothes and Duke’s shirt outside the shower area.

  “No,” she says and turns away from me as she continues washing.

  “Madison?”

  She won’t look at me. I grab her soapy hands and hold them. “I’m dirty,” she says softly. “So dirty.”

  “Then let me wash it away,” I say just as softly. She doesn’t stop me when I take the soap from her hands. She doesn’t stop me when I wash her back and move my hands down to her waist. She doesn’t stop me when my hand slips between her legs and I wash her there. She doesn’t stop me when I wash her breasts. She only stops me when I rinse the soap from my hands and try to tip her face up so I can look into her eyes.

  “No,” she says a little louder than she spoke before and forcefully tilts her head down.

  I pull her into my chest and she doesn’t fight me. Nor does she hold on as tightly as she did earlier. She doesn’t hold onto me at all.

  Chapter Twelve

  Madison

  I’m numb.

  Moon leaves the room, and Carlo enters while Two Dogs whines at the door. The whining stops and I’m sure Moon pulled him away. I’m in my bathrobe with nothing on beneath. I should care but I don’t. All I want is to lie back on the bed and sleep for the next twenty years.

  Carlo moves quietly around me, setting out his instruments. We’ve been here before even if the circumstances were very different. He’s not invading my space. Yet.

  “It’s good to know you’re in better shape than your friend,” he finally says.

  I don’t bother looking at him. I have several external bruises, possible bruised ribs, and a knot on my head. I’ll live, and those injuries are unimportant right now. I’ve survived worse and Carlo was there to fix me then too. There’s no fixing what’s really wrong. It was better when all I could think about was getting me and Cori free. It gave me purpose. Now I only have a dark hole of nothingness.

  Fernandez violated my body and he didn’t use a condom. He could be carrying multiple diseases, which means I must tell Carlo what happened. The thought of talking about it freezes my insides. I could be carrying a disease now too. Do I want to die? Maybe, maybe not. I want it to be my decision and not forced on me through some terminal disease or one I could pass to my husband.

  My rational mind knows Moon will still love me when he finds out what happened. But, will he want to touch me and be intimate? The irrational side says no one will ever want to touch me again because I’m dirty from the inside out.

  I handled several rape cases as an officer and had to ask intimate details. Those poor women were strong enough to tell me, and I need to be strong too. It takes a moment for me to dig deep and go into my old cop mode. Tear the bandage off, be precise, and never allow emotion to pollute the job. I expel a deep breath. “I was vaginally raped. Cori and I both need medication in case the men carried STDs.” If he didn’t already know Cori was raped he does now and I feel bad because I shouldn’t be the one to tell Cori’s story.

  Carlo sits beside me on the bed and takes my hand. “Cori told me what happened to her. The medication you both need will be delivered within two hours.” His hand moves over mine and he tries to soothe me. “Your face is swollen and I need you to tell me what else was done to you.”

  “A punch here, another there. I have bruised ribs and a slight concussion. Otherwise I’m fine.” Yeah, fine describes how I feel. It’s the “fine” a woman uses when she’s anything but. I don’t tell him that my stomach aches where I was kicked and punched. Or that my right palm is cut. Those injuries aren’t bad and I don’t care about them. When I say nothing further, Carlo checks my pulse. I try to pull my hand away because I don’t want to be touched.

  He squeezes it a bit and then lets me go. “You can sit right there while I examine you, but I am checking you over before I allow Xavier back in here.”

  Xavier. Moon’s middle name that I use when we make love. To Moon, I’ll always be Madison and never Mak. His last name stands for so much more than a name to me. It’s who he is—unstoppable, unflappable, and strong. He guides me to the light, or at least he did. I don’t think the sun will ever shine on me again.

  Carlo checks my vitals while I stay perfectly still. He shines his penlight into my eyes and gives a “hmm” sound. “Did you suffer dizziness after the blow to your head?”

  I shrug. “I passed out, but other than throbbing I don’t think it’s bad.”

  “Let me, the doctor, decide that,” he chastises. “You have a way of gathering concussions like no one I’ve seen before and it needs to stop. You could be causing lasting brain damage.”

  I ignore his complaints. When he gets to my injured hand I receive a “tsk.” He applies ointment and then bandages it.

  “This will sting. It’s a tetanus shot.” He pushes my robe slightly off my shoulder and gives me the injection in my arm. For a moment, I wonder what all he carries in his emergency bag. It seems to hold everything we always need. Moon built a medical room in the house, which is supplied with all the items Carlo recommended too, but his bag has always fascinated me and right now I need something to focus on. A black bag will do.

  “How is Cori?” I finally ask because my thoughts suddenly jump to her. I should have been a better friend and asked immediately.

  He checks my jaw and teeth before replying. “She’s sedated and should sleep until tomorrow. I’ll leave an injection behind in case she wakes early.” He steps back. “I need to examine you, Mak, if you’ll let me.”

  I shrug the bathrobe from my shoulders and allow him to poke and prod me some more. Even when it hurts, I refuse to move or show discomfort. It’s strange because I should feel something—anger, shame, misery… something. I don’t. It’s like my brain and all my thoughts have shut down. It doesn’t matter where Carlo touches me, it won’t penetrate the fog.

  “Can you lie back so I can check for vaginal tearing and bruising?”

  “No.” He can’t touch me there, no one can. Even though I thought I was prepared to allow him to examine me, I suddenly realize I’m not. What the hell is my brain doing? The pounding in my head increases when I try to straighten out my thoughts.

  Carlo doesn’t argue. He pulls my bathrobe back around my shoulders, ties the sash, and then pulls my hair out and drapes it onto my shoulders. His expression shows understanding; he’s not fighting me. He rolls up my bathrobe sleeve and I feel the poke of a needle after he pulls my arm toward him. Not even tears will come now. Emotion is so far away I can’t remember what it feels like.

  I react quickly to the shot and my eyelids have trouble staying open.

  “Thank you,” I whisper before the world goes dark.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Moon

  Cori’s been provided a room on the third floor so she can recu
perate here. Carlo thinks it will take some time. After Cori’s fingers were delivered, we placed them on ice but there was too much tissue damage during the original transport to my house and they can’t be reattached. I’d send Cori to the best plastic surgeons in the United States if they could save her fingers.

  My cell buzzes and I answer quickly.

  “Boss?”

  It’s Cal. “Yes?”

  “They got away. Neither man was at the house. We’ve searched it from top to bottom looking for clues but have nothing. Where do you want us next?”

  My hand grips the phone tighter and I’m lucky it doesn’t crumble beneath the strain. “Burn the place down so Madison and Cori’s DNA and fingerprints aren’t found if the police show up then come back to the house and we’ll make a plan.”

  “What about the body?”

  Madison never told me who the blood belonged to. “What shape is the body in?” I want to know how she killed him.

  “His throat’s been cut and his groin is shredded to the point it looks like a meat grinder. With the amount of blood between his legs, he was alive when his cock and balls were nearly severed. The neck injury is what took him out, though.”

  “Let the body burn with the house and come home.” I end the call and rub the back of my neck. It’s killing me not to be upstairs with Madison. Carlo insisted he see her alone. He knows both women were raped. I told him before he went upstairs. He said Cori told him what happened to her. I drive my fists against the top of my desk. I need to hold my wife and tell her she’ll be okay. She will be because she doesn’t have a choice. I love her and need her. God, I should let her go. This is my fault.

  The change in my thinking just shows how fucked up I am right now.

  The knock on my office door brings my head up. Carlo steps in. “I’ve given her a sedative. I’ll be leaving more here if she or Cori wake up during the night. I’ll also come by tomorrow and check on them both. I’ve got a drip line of antibiotics on Cori and the bag will need to be changed before I’m back here.”

  I lift a decanter of brandy and wave him to the chair in front of my desk. Carlo waves the brandy aside but takes the chair. “I need a clear head in case Cori’s infection gets worse and I need to come back here tonight.”

  “Stay over. Your service can reach you here if you have another emergency.” I lean toward him and place the decanter back on the desk. “How bad are Madison’s injuries?”

  “Slight concussion along with bruising on her ribs and abdomen. Her face isn’t pretty, but you saw that.”

  “My wife is beautiful.” I raise an eyebrow and even that is hard with how tired I am. “I know you believe in doctor patient confidentiality, but I already know my wife was raped. Please cut the shit and tell me how Madison really is.”

  He stares at me for several seconds before releasing a long sigh. “Did she tell you?”

  I shake my head. “Fernandez sent me video.”

  “Okay.” He takes a moment and I’m about to reach across the desk and throttle him. He must know my intention because he raises his left hand, palm out before lowering it. “She didn’t want me examining her vaginally, so I knocked her out first. She has minor vaginal tearing, which will take a few days to heal. She’s in shock, which is how the brain protects itself, so I’m not worried about it yet. She’ll go through a lot of emotions or no emotion, which is where she was when I first examined her.”

  “That’s how she was with me.”

  “It might help if you tell her about the video.” He raises his hand again before I can respond with no way in hell. “Sometimes talking about what happened to the person you love most after a woman is raped is the most painful part. What do you say? When do you tell your spouse? If she knows you’re aware of what happened, it will take part of the weight from her shoulders.”

  This time I rub my eyes. When I look back at Carlo, I’m sure my exhaustion and desperation show that I’m thinking I don’t know what the hell to do for her.

  “Mak is strong and she’ll come out the other side of the dark tunnel she’s in. She needs time and love. I think you can handle those two simple things.”

  “This is my fault.” The words have been playing in my head over and over.

  “This is your life. You know the consequences and so does Mak. The last thing you need is more guilt right now. Concentrate on your wife. See that she’s kept safe. Later, you might want to reassess your lifestyle.”

  That’s Carlo. Always straight to the point even when it’s something I don’t want to hear. He stands up and places his hand out. I stand up and wrap my arms around him in a quick hug. We go too far back for handshakes.

  “Watch her closely,” he says after I release him. “She’s strong, but sometimes that makes it worse. Cori is another matter entirely. She asked me if I would leave enough pills behind so she could end her life. Gabriella is staying with her tonight. You need to be with Mak. Have someone fill in for Gabriella when the time comes. Cori shouldn’t be left alone.”

  I follow him out of my office. He heads to his home away from home on the third floor. The room is next to Cori’s and I feel safer with him in the house. I head to our bedroom and find Madison curled up on the bed with the blanket spread over her that usually rests at the bottom. A fuzzy white section of her bathrobe peeks out. I open one of her drawers and remove a night shirt. Getting it on her limp body isn’t easy but I manage. After she’s covered, I remove my clothes, drop them on the floor next to the bed, and I crawl in beside her. I need to feel her heart beating so my soul knows she’s alive and here with me. We will get through this.

  And Fernandez will pay.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Madison

  The warm arm across my back wakes me. For a solid minute, I’m in my old world where I’m loved and cared for. When I move, my abs flex. The ache in my stomach brings everything crashing back. Cori and I were raped. Cori is missing two fingers and it’s all because of me.

  “Madison,” Moon whispers against my shoulder.

  I wish I could pretend to be asleep, but it’s too late for that. He brushes hair off my back and places his hand there. I don’t want to roll over. I don’t want him looking at me. Where are my tears? Where is my anger? Nothingness slams through me, swirling around like a funnel cloud in a dust storm.

  Moon rolls me over and then his face blocks my view of the ceiling. “Talk to me, baby, just talk.”

  “No,” my croaky voice rasps out.

  He cups my jaw, his thumb rubbing my neck. “I love you.”

  I close my eyes. I need to say the words back to him; I know I do but they won’t come. He deserves the words. He deserves a woman who is whole. His arms circle me and I’m lifted onto his chest as he sinks back into the mattress. He holds me tight, rubbing his hand over my back.

  If only I could cry.

  His phone pings beside us and he moves slightly and picks it up. I know all this by sound because I still haven’t opened my eyes to this ugly world.

  “I’ll be there momentarily,” he says a few seconds after answering.

  We’re rarely disturbed in our room. “Did they find Fernandez and Goose?” I ask after his phone hits the side table.

  “No, they weren’t there when the men went in.”

  I need them dead, but it’s okay because now I can do it myself. Funny that I don’t feel anger or regret about ending their lives. They just need to die like cockroaches need to die.

  “Madison, tell me what happened.”

  This time he isn’t asking. That’s Moon. He’s nice up to a point. I open my eyes and look into his blue ones. This close, I can see the silver specks that make them so unique, especially with his dark skin. “Fernandez raped me.” There, it’s out. I have no idea how he’ll deal with it.

  He pulls me into his chest and holds me tighter. “He sent me a video when he sent Cori’s finger. I would do anything to take away that pain. I promise he’ll pay and it won’t be a gentle death.” His ar
ms tighten further to the point I can barely breathe. “I love you,” he says again.

  My beautiful husband is naked and it’s not affecting me at all. Maybe after rape, nothing affects you. “Are you needed downstairs?” I remind him because I want him out of the room. I need to be alone. I’m still tired, and I need more of whatever Carlo gave me. I just want to sleep.

  “They can wait,” Moon says in his official, I’m the boss tone.

  “Please, I just need time.” And emotion, and a step back in time so none of this ever happened.

  He kisses my cheek and rolls us over so he’s above me. For just a minute my body locks up. This is Moon, I remind myself. He won’t hurt me. I close my eyes again and feel the nothingness surround me. His lips pepper small kisses along my jaw. “I’m here for you. I’ll give you some time, I just can’t guarantee how long. Rest today and tomorrow if needed. We’ll talk at lunch. I’ll have Gabriella bring you breakfast.”

  “Just a smoothie, please.” I’m not at all hungry and I don’t think I can hold down solid food. Knowing my husband, he’ll force feed me if needed.

  He holds me for another moment and then slips out of bed. I don’t open my eyes until he’s gone. A staring contest with the ceiling begins and doesn’t end until Gabriella brings my breakfast.

  “Chiquita, what are you doing in the dark?” she asks after entering the bedroom without knocking. She runs the entire house and has no problem being seen and heard when she thinks it’s necessary.

  “I don’t feel well. If you could just leave the smoothie on the nightstand, that would be perfect.”

  Spanish spews from her lips, too rapid for me to follow in my current state of not giving a fuck. Then I smell my breakfast and it’s not the smoothie I requested. The scent of bacon slowly fills the room and I do everything I can not to gag.

  “I will sit here while you eat and keep you company,” she says in her heavy accent. The accent alone lets me know she’s out of her comfort zone because it’s so thick. Under normal circumstances, I would be praising her food before I even took a bite. If not, I’d be lucky if the food didn’t end up over my head. Gabriella has been with Moon since forever and he rarely calls her out on bossing everyone inside the house. He actually enjoys watching me when I decide to take her on. Not that I ever win, but it does get comical at times.