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  He breaks my hold easily and spins around. He grabs my shoulders in a tight punishing grip. I hate the sound of the laugh he makes. “Compromise. That’s what you think it takes to be with me. I’d just killed someone when I came to you that first time.”

  I cut him off. “You risked your life for me and Kiley and my mom. Gabriella too. You were willing to die for us. How can that be a bad thing?”

  “You’re not listening. I killed a man with my bare hands and then touched you with the same hands a few hours later. I involved you in the death of another man when we went after Kiley. What kind of man does that?” His voice lowers. “When I beat a man to death, he’s tied up. He doesn’t stand a chance. The blood that drips from my hands is coward’s blood.”

  I stomp my foot not caring how ridiculous I look. He doesn’t get it. “Bullshit. If it bothers you, then untie him. Give him a fair fight before you kill him.”

  His groan says so much. He thinks I don’t understand, but I do. “I’m going to nursing school, Alex. I never want to feel helpless again if and when you’re shot. I know the world I’m choosing. If you send me away, I’ll finish school and come back when I’m done. I’ll ask Moon for a job if you won’t keep me. Hell, I’ll clean this house, clean the pool, scrub the fucking toilets if that’s what it takes to stay near you. That’s what you do when you love someone. You compromise. You beg when the man you love is too stubborn to see what’s right in front of him.”

  I have nothing left and go to my knees. I stare up at him. “I’m begging. Don’t send me away. Please. I love you.”

  I stay that way and wait. I see his anguish and it gives me hope. My heart speeds up when he slowly lowers himself to his knees in front of me. There is so much pain in his eyes. “Tell me, Alex,” I whisper. “Tell me so I know it all.” I place my palm on his heart and feel the steady beat.

  “I see them,” he says. “I see all of them. Each person in my life who’s died. Each person I’ve killed. All the blood. They visit me at night. I barely sleep. It’s been this way for years. They haunt me for the things I’ve done.” His head drops and his tears splash to the tile.

  I lean in and he wraps his arms around me. My hand is between us and I hold it there.

  “I love you,” he whispers. “Please don’t ask me to risk your life and turn you into more blood on my hands.”

  “I’m not asking.” I kiss the scar on his chest. “Your blood is my blood. I’m already here and I’m safer with you than without you. Give in, Alex, you can’t win this argument.”

  He pulls me closer. “God, I love you,” he repeats.

  “Good.” I breathe him in and tell him the truth. “I signed everything over to my mom. All the money, the house we bought, even my car. I’m homeless and penniless and the only way I could possibly pay for my schooling is to work for the escort service.”

  He laughs into my hair. “Over my dead body.”

  I’m able to breathe again. “I’m glad because I wasn’t very good at it.”

  He pulls away and looks at me. “I think you were too good.”

  “That may be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I say with a grin through fresh tears.

  “Well, maybe you could use some work on your oral skills.”

  He’s teasing me and I love him more for it. My hands go to the button of his jeans. “I was hoping you could give me pointers.”

  He stops me. “I love you. I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”

  “Then we both want the same thing.” He releases my hands and I slide his zipper down.

  He closes his eyes and when he opens them, I see so much love. “You’re the good, Celina. Too good for me, but I’m selfish and I want you.” His smile is magnificent. “Poor oral skills and all.”

  I take his erection into my hand. “Hmm, I’ll work very, very hard under your direction.”

  Our kiss sizzles and travels to all the parts of me that want him so badly. My heart first and then the juncture of my thighs and my breasts.

  “I love you,” he says again.

  I’ve won the most important fight of my life and I’ll never stop fighting.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  One month later…

  Alex

  SHE FACE-PLANTS AGAIN. Rack puts his hand out and helps her to her feet. I think she may be the worst fighter I’ve ever seen.

  “You’re going easy on me. Stop it,” Celina growls.

  “I just knocked you to the mat again. How is that going easy on you?”

  “It didn’t hurt,” she whines between gasps for breath.

  They’ve been going at it for an hour. I tried to train her weeks ago, but I was worse than Rack. At least he leaves her with some bruises.

  “I like gun training better,” she complains.

  “Firearms training,” Rack corrects her. “Come on. You need to block and strike without landing on your ass.”

  “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  Rack rolls his eyes and gives me a look. This look means he’s had enough for today and needs rescuing.

  “What if we go for a run?” I say as I push the weights up and settle them on the stand.

  “Don’t think I didn’t see the look he gave you.” She turns to Rack. “Some days you act like a pussy.”

  He stares at her for two seconds and then strikes. She blocks. His knee comes up and she blocks that. She backs off and he comes at her. He puts his arms out with every intention of putting a bear hold on her. She pivots and sidesteps. Rack doesn’t miss a beat and moves with her. We’re both surprised when she steps into him instead of away. Rack lowers his arms to catch his balance and she stomps down on his instep. She’s half bent and he puts his arms down so he can pick her up.

  He freezes and grunts.

  I can’t see what’s happened, so I walk around until I’m on the other side. Celina has him by the balls, literally.

  She looks so pleased. “Mak taught me this move yesterday.”

  “Mak should know better,” Rack groans.

  “Well, they are nice balls, but Alex’s are better.”

  “Nice to know. Would you mind giving them back to me?”

  “Nope.” Her other hand comes up and she strikes him under the chin with a serious uppercut palm strike. She releases his junk and shoulders him low in the gut. He tries to hold on and she turns and steps away as he goes down. “Mak told me that men think a woman can’t fight back and it’s not a bad thing to let them think so. Now if you don’t mind, I have sweaty ball juice on my hands and I need to wash them.”

  She turns and marches from the workout room. Rack rolls to his back. “Please tell me you’re keeping her. I don’t think any other man could handle her.”

  I put my hand out and help him stand. “Yea, I’m holding on for dear life,” I say and give him a thump on the back.

  “You still heading out of town tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Celina wants to visit Kiley and her mom, and she says I need to see my sister and her family.”

  “Smart man for not arguing.”

  “Oh, I argued until I was blue in the face. I finally gave in.”

  Rack rubs his balls. “I understand why.”

  Celina

  I RUN INTO MAK in the kitchen when I go to grab water. She notices the satisfied look on my face and smiles. “You used the move?”

  “Yep, and it worked. Men sure are gullible.”

  “You only get one shot, so don’t think it will work next time. Jess has a few moves she’s willing to teach you. Always keep them guessing.”

  “Gotcha. I need to pack. You think your man can handle things while we’re away?”

  “I will handle things, Señorita,” Gabriella says from behind me.

  I turn and give her my best smile. “Rack showed me the broom video. You’re good with a stick. Maybe you could give me some pointers.”

  The tirade of Spanish makes Mak and I leave the kitchen quickly. Two-dogs falls in behind us as soon a
s we clear the door. He’s still in the doghouse and he knows it. A pair of strong arms hooks me from the dining room and I let out a very unladylike squeal.

  “Excuse us, Madison. Celina and I have a very important matter to discuss. It has something to do with my woman’s hands on another set of balls.” Mak walks away laughing and Alex pulls me against his chest.

  “Don’t be angry. It was kind of gross.”

  He laughs. “I won’t tell Rack you said that.”

  My hands go to the front of his shorts. “Your balls aren’t gross at all.”

  “Good. Let’s go to our room so the cameras don’t see you assaulting my balls.”

  “I need to pack,” I whisper against his neck.

  “You won the argument about my sister. You won’t win this one.”

  “I think we both win this one.” I bite down on the salty skin of his neck.

  “I think you may be right.”

  “Have I mentioned how much I love you?” I whisper against his lips.

  “Not since this morning.”

  “Okay, remind me later.”

  He groans. “Is there a reason you can’t say it now.”

  I kiss him. “Yes, we need to be away from the cameras or have you forgotten?”

  He picks me up and flips his middle finger at the camera in the corner. I’ll say I love him a dozen times before he lets me come. He’ll say it too.

  Are you ready for Dax? I am having so much fun with him. BURN will release soon. For a FREE naughty read (Crimson Warrior), an apocolyptic, paranormal romance, be sure to sign up for my wicked newsletter. Book II, Crimson Brothers, will be out later this year and newsletter subscribers will receive it FREE. Click here to sign up and Crimson Warrior will automatically arrive in your email once you confirm.

  A note from Holly:

  Thank you for reading Sizzle. It’s amazing how easy it’s been to put my real-life experience as a police officer into a romance series about criminals. Officers/detectives deal with so much heartbreak and many of these stories stay with us for years. Heat, Sizzle, and coming soon, Burn, are giving me an outlet and a place to share my experience.

  Kiley’s story is semi-true. She was actually a he and a little boy who touched my heart. He had the happiest of endings and I have a picture of him with his new forever family—amazing people with hearts of gold. I didn’t delve too deeply into Kiley’s actual abuse but know that my use of the word “still” is a byproduct of what I learned when dealing with such cases. I also learned that some children just didn't respond to me (the grandmother inside me cried) but I had to accept it. That's how it was with Kiley and Celina. Sometimes all you can do is let go and know that others will have a better chance at breaking through the trauma.

  Alex Gomez suffers Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I too reached my limit and a single case took me over the edge and into images that played repeatedly in my brain when I tried to sleep. It was a terrible time in my career but with the help of a wonderful therapist who recommended Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), I came through and found sunshine on the other side.

  Thrifty Joes Books and Music once had a store in Tempe, Arizona. My friend Jan owned it and still runs the one located in Glendale, Arizona at 59th Ave. and Bell Rd. My bookstore was at 26th St. and Bell. Jan and I were competitors and the best of friends. My daughter, who Jan adores, starred in one of Jan’s commercials. If you’re ever in the area please stop in and say hello for me. Jan has no idea I used her store in this book.

  The Lincoln Hotel was actually the Adams Hotel. I dropped Iris Johansen (the writing queen of romance suspence) off at the Adam’s back in the day and the faucet in her bathtub broke and steaming water went everywhere. Iris said the hotel reminded her of The Shining. So, not wanting a lawsuit because I sent an escort to such a landmark, I decided to name the Hotel, the Jefferson. After a quick Google check, I discovered the Jefferson Hotel in Phoenix is where they filmed the beginning of Psycho. So, Lincoln it was. Research is a bitch but quite often very enlightning.

  On a side note, Kitsy Kitsy was my first cat when I was eight years old. She had a short but cherished life and I will never forget her. I loved that I could give her to Kiley.

  Thank you so much for reading my books. My long-time readers know I write contemporary and paranormal romance along with police stories. I love all the genres I write and will never be able to settle on just one. Even if you don’t read certain types of books, I dare you to give mine a try. Several are free at the major retailers. All the information is available at my website: www.wickedstorytelling.com

  You can also reach me at [email protected] and I always answer (except once because the email was very mean and I don’t have time for mean people). A certain reader did not approve of the sex in my books and decided to try to change my heathen ways. That was quite a few books ago so she obviously failed.

  Peace and love,

  Holly

  Bibliography

  WRITING AS HOLLY S. ROBERTS

  Hotter Than Hell Series – New Adult Romance

  Heat

  Sizzle

  Burn (coming soon)

  Completion Series – New Adult Romance

  Play (free ebook)

  Strike

  Kick

  Slam

  Ruck

  Stick (coming soon)

  Crimson Series – Vampire Erotic Romance

  Crimson Warrior

  Crimson Brothers (coming soon)

  Club El Diablo Series – Kinky Romance

  One Dom at a Time (free ebook)

  Piercing a Doms Heart

  Touched by a Dom

  Domination in Pink (short and kinky sequel to One Dom at a Time)

  Two Doms for Angel

  Bad Boy Dom (Bad Boys of Rock)

  Loving Two Doms (Bad Boys of Rock)

  Caught by Two Doms (sequel Two Doms for Angel)

  Temporary Dom (Bad Boys of Rock)

  WRITING AS D’ELEN MCCLAIN

  Fang Chronicles – Paranormal Romance

  Amy’s Story (free ebook)

  Emily’s Story

  Zenya’s Story

  Mandy’s Story

  Dmitri

  Ivan

  Tyboll

  Esha’s Story

  Fire Chronicles – Paranormal Romance

  Dragons Don’t Cry (free ebook)

  Dragons Don’t Love

  Dragons Don’t Forgive

  Dragons Live Forever

  Dragons Don’t Give a Damn (coming soon)

  WRITING AS SUZIE IVY

  Bad Luck Detective Series – Police Humor/Inspirational/Memoir

  Bad Luck Cadet & Officer

  The Forever Team (appropriate for young adults)

  Ten (a mystery thriller, coming soon)